


Even When I Lose My Head

by mariuspunmercy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (that's not a tag tf), Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, M/M, Mind Control, Not a Happy Story, Oblivious Percy Weasley, Suicide, and i had this idea, based on a Jon Bellion song, fr it's 2 am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 23:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17796830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariuspunmercy/pseuds/mariuspunmercy
Summary: "And if you have nightmares, we'll dance on the bedI know that you love me, love meEven when I lose my head"Percy is there one morning. The next, he's not.





	Even When I Lose My Head

“Fight it!” Percy tried to block out Oliver screaming for him. He's only hurting the other boy. He doesn't deserve this. He deserves someone who's going to stay with him and not be totally mind corrupted.

Especially not someone who's trying to kill him.

“Oliver,” Percy addressed. He isn't letting anyone else get hurt. “You have to go before she comes back. Don't tell my family where I'm at. Go, now!”

He could feel the prickling in the back of his head. She's coming back. Percy just about yelled in agony at the feeling in his head. “I can't fight it. You have to leave before I do something to you. Oliver, please go.” When the other boy made no movement, he almost cried. “Oliver, don't stay here for me! You have to go and tell everyone I've died! It'll be better.”

“How did this happen?” Oliver whispered, a tear that was previously stuck in his eyelash dripping down his cheek. “How could something like this happen to somebody like you?”

Percy wasn't exactly sure how it happened. He doesn't really know how he ended up becoming mind controlled by one of Voldemort's minions by the name of Victoria Grace. He knows if Oliver doesn't leave, she's going to force Percy to kill the man he loves before they even got a chance to actually be together.

This isn't how it was supposed to happen…

“Probably because I'm  _ me,”  _ Percy rolled his eyes, feeling his hand start unconsciously drift to his wand. She's watching from somewhere nearby and controlling him. She's going to drag out this prolonged torture by allowing them to have more time together before he's forced to kill the other. This is way worse than if he had killed Oliver from the second they saw each other again.

“Percy, I know you can fight it!” Oliver rushed forward to grab Percy's wrist, stopping it from pulling his wand out completely. “Think about us. Think about you and me. Think about how we were the night before you disappeared. We kissed, and we were supposed to talk about it. Tell me. What were you going to say if we had been able to make it that far?”

Percy almost cried. His mind was almost completely filled with thoughts on the most violent way to kill Oliver, and once that clouds his mind, he doesn't know how much longer he would be able to resist it for. “I was going to tell you about how much I adore you. How I couldn't wait to spend life after Hogwarts with you. How even though all my waking thoughts have been about cold blooded murder, you're still always on my mind.”

“You can't get rid of me that easy,” Oliver joked, another tear running down his cheek.

She must've seen this as opportunity to exploit Oliver's vulnerable moment by having Percy wipe the tear from his face. When Oliver leaned into his hand, he took his wand out from where it was stuffed in his robes and pointed it at the other boy's chest, hand shaking.

“Fight!” Oliver twisted Percy's wand arm. Percy paid little attention to it skitting away and instead pushed Oliver hard on his back. Judging by the hard gasp and wide eyes, his wind had been knocked out of his lungs. “Fight…”

Percy quickly grabbed his wand from where it had fallen and settled himself in Oliver's lap, his wand pointed straight at his heart. “She's making me do this…” He whispered. “I'm sorry.”

Something that he didn't expect was Oliver reflectively kicking Percy  _ hard  _ in the stomach, making him double over in pain and coughing for air. One glance at the heartbroken look on Oliver's face is enough to tell anybody that he felt disgusted with himself.

_ Wouldn't this be so much easier if your lover killed you first?  _ Victoria spoke in his mind.  _ This is interesting indeed. All the more funner for me to see your little boyfriend perish by your own hand. Think about it. You could be done with this life if you convinced the other to just kill you. _

Percy rose to his feet. If Oliver killed him first, then he'd be safe. Life damned if Percy died. He was done with killing people anyways. He hated doing it with every fiber in his body and then some. All Oliver needs to do is kill him. He'd be safe too. He'd be saved.

“Fight me back,” Percy began throwing spells that would definitely hurt Oliver enough to wish he was dead. He started using the crucio curse when all Oliver did was simply dodge, trying not to mame Percy. “Please. Fight me. Fight me and you'll live. You  _ have  _ to live! Fight me, goddammit! It's the one thing I'm asking!”

Oliver shook his head, eyes shining with tears. “I wouldn't ever dream of hitting you again. Don't ask me to do that. You know I could never.”

“Knock me out or something,” Percy couldn't cry. She made it impossible for him to cry. He could feel the lump in his throat along with the stinging in his eyes and the horrible feelings and emotions that accompanied crying, but no tears would ever be shed. If anything, Oliver's crying made up for the both of them. “You have to do something,  _ anything,  _ back to me.”

“Your family is going to be so happy when they find out that you're okay,” Oliver smiled. A smile of acceptance. “I could hear Ginny and Ron's crying the night you disappeared down the hall. Your dad forced himself into work. Charlie isolated himself and Bill almost permanently moved with Fleur, had it not been for your mother in hysterics.”

“They're going to be pretty sad when they find out I'm not going back then, huh,” Percy lowered his wand. Except it wasn't at his own command. It was at hers. Something wasn't right here.

_ He's willing to let you kill him if it means you get to be happy with your family again,  _ Victoria chuckled in his head.  _ Tell him that's what's going to happen, and murder him in the dead of the night. Then, we move on to the next. The only way you're ever leaving me is if you die. We'll let your lover decide. _

Percy did everything he could to keep his mouth shut, but alas he could not fight her. No matter how hard he tried, she's always stronger. “She said she'll let me be free if I kill you. Or you kill me.”

Please choose the latter. Please. Oliver, don't be heroic. Forget about what they had for just a second. Forget that they were supposed to be together. Forget all of that and please kill him. Don't try to play hero. Just do the simple act of killing him, please…

Oliver got on his knees, throwing his own wand away from him, hands up in surrender with a crooked smile on his lips. He's smiling because he's already accepted his fate. He's greeted death at the doorstep of his house. Now all he's waiting for is to be invited in. “Kill me. Break my heart, Percy. It was only ever yours to break.”

“Stand up and kill me,” Percy raised his wand again, walking closer to Oliver so the tip was pressed into his chest. “Please, just kill me. I don't want to kill the person that I love.”

“We'll see each other soon,” Oliver nodded, his smile seeming to grow wider. “If this war goes the way it's heading, I'm sure we'll be together in record time.”

“Stand up…” Percy whispered again, the wand now beginning to scratch what should've been his lover.

“Can you countdown from ten?” Oliver asked. “Sorry, I just want to know when it's coming.”

She didn't seem to mind it. She didn't care about how long this took or how painful it was. All she cared about was Oliver being dead and the amount of internal pain that Percy could feel. He nodded, unable to speak. Even with her taking away his ability to cry, she was still scared that he'd somehow find a way with how powerful the emotions are right now.

“Ten…”

_ “I don't understand the point of this,” Oliver groaned, shoving the textbook off from his spot on the foot of the bed. Percy looked up from his own book, resting against the headboard, to see the other boy shoving his face into his hands in frustration. _

_ “What's up?” Percy asked out of concern. He knew his friend struggled in the education part of school, and he hated seeing him on the verge of tears because he didn't understand the lesson. _

_ “I don't get the stupid potions homework,” Oliver crawled across the bed to rest his face on Percy's shoulder. “I'm already guaranteed a place for quidditch when we get out of this place. I don't get why I'm still here or why I have to sit through these ridiculously hard questions.” _

_ “It's required to complete all seven years at Hogwarts or another wizarding school to continue on to professional sports,” Percy shrugged, running his fingers through Oliver's hair. A completely platonic action. _

_ Before Oliver knew it, he had fallen asleep out of the sheer exhaustion the homework had caused him. If took Percy one look at Oliver's sleeping face to understand that he's head over heels. _

_ “Fuck.” Percy mumbled under his breath. _

“Nine…”

_ “Do I have something on my face?” Percy patted himself, feeling for any sort of food or whatever that might've stuck to him. “Why are you looking at me like that?” _

_ Oliver laughed, waving a chicken in his face. “I think the only thing on your face is good looks.” _

_ Percy playfully rolled his eyes, trying not to take the silly flirting too seriously. It's the kind of flirting that guys usually follow up with ‘no homo', though Oliver never says that after. He never says anything, now that he thinks about it. _

_ When Oliver started staring at him again, he started looking around behind him just to see what the fuck is wrong. “Okay, you're staring is super weird. Why the hell do you keep looking at me? Do you need the answers for the history of magic test? Because you know I'll give them to you in a heartbeat. You don't have to weirdly creep me out like that.” _

_ Oliver laughed again, coughing on his drink. He laughs a lot at stupid jokes. “No, I just like looking at you, if you get my gist.” _

_ Percy did not, in fact, understand what the gist was. “Yeah, totally. Can't resist charming me to make sure our answers are the same. I figured you out, right?” _

_ Because they're best friends. So Percy knows Oliver like the back of his hand. He knows everything about him, right? They'll only ever just be friends, right? Because there's no way he would ever like somebody like Percy. He probably has a crush on Marcus, right? _

_ Right? _

Oh how wrong he was. Percy wanted to snap his wand in half. Just lower it. If only that had been the case. He would've preferred that then what's happening now. “Eight…”

_ “Have you ever wanted muggle money?” Oliver asked, eyes wide and frantic. _

_ Percy looked up from his book, resting it calmly next to him on the bed. “I mean, yeah. I think it would be cool. My dad would probably go ballistic for a chance to see it. Muggle money has weird names. And why do they put random people on the front? There's more than one form of money for muggles and it makes no sense to me. Anyways, why you ask?” _

_ Oliver's hand lifted in what Percy thought was a wave, to which he stupidly responded back with a wave. Oliver laughed before he noticed that it was not, in fact, a wave. There was a piece of green paper in between two of his fingers. _

_ “I'll give you twenty bucks,” Oliver even seemed out of breath as he sat down next to Percy on the bed. “If you talk to my mom via fireplace tomorrow so she'll stop asking when I'll get into a relationship.” _

_ “That's muggle money?” Percy grabbed the paper from Oliver holding it out on his palm. “It's so weird.” On the inside, he's trying to not completely freak out that his best friend would trust him with something like this. He cleared his throat, clearing away any lingering thoughts. “Quick question: is your mom expecting a boyfriend or girlfriend?” _

_ Oliver shrugged. “For now, you'll be the best friend that I secretly have a thing for. You know, so my mom can see and stop questioning me about when I'm going to get into a relationship. Yup, all for my mom.” _

_ Percy nodded. “Just for your mom.” _

And now Oliver would never see his mom again. “Seven…”

_ “This is a horrible idea,” Percy mused as they left the seven eleven. “Not only did we sneak out, we also mixed every flavor of this rushie shit and I'm concerned as to why it's green. Should it be green? Oliver, why is it green?” _

_ “If I had known you were going to complain the whole weekend,” Oliver shook his head. “I should've left you at the Burrow. By the way, it's called a slushie. I'm pretty sure rushie is some kind of sex slang. Everything nowadays is sex slang.” _

_ “For muggles,” Percy examined his cup as he buried himself deeper into the borrowed sweatshirt. Oliver used to play a muggle sport called baseball, and because Percy didn't know he was going to take three am trips to mix slushie flavors, he didn't pack a sweatshirt. He had to take one of Oliver's. He pretended not to notice the way the other boy kept stealing glances at him. “Are you sure this is safe to drink?” _

_ Oliver took a glance at the cold drinks. “Totally!” And he took a sip. He does this cute thing where he unconsciously bites the straw when he's drinking something with a straw. It's the cutest thing ever. _

_ Percy was about to take a drink too, assuming that it was safe, but immediately stopped when he saw Oliver's face. He looked like he had swallowed a lemon whole, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I'm guessing that it wasn't as amazing as you hyped it up to be?” _

_ Oliver was obviously disappointed that their little adventure hadn't gone the way that it was supposed to, but he shrugged his shoulders, stealing another glance at Percy in the sweatshirt. “On the bright side, I'm not addicted to cocaine.” _

“Six…”

_ “I know it's stupid,” Oliver yawned into Percy's shoulder, whispering as he rested his head on him. “I just get a bit scared being alone. The dark is kind of scary. Not even kind of. It  _ is.  _ When I'm with you, I stop feeling alone, through. I don't like being alone.” _

_ Percy fought down the blush, positive that Cedric or Marcus would call him out on it, even if they were paying the two zero attention, so he buried his face into Oliver's hair. “Don't worry. I shouldn't be leaving anytime soon. I for sure don't plan on it.” _

_ Oliver smiled, yawning again. “I dunno why I agreed to come to this stupid party for quidditch players. Why stupid glow in the dark? Muggles have dances like this. I dragged you here as my plus one. We could've been in our room right now, doing something awesome.” _

_ “What you mean is,” Percy teased. “I would be helping you with your homework, which we still need to do. Tsk tsk, Oliver. You've been neglecting me and your duties as a scholar.” _

_ “Don't worry,” Oliver buried himself deeper into Percy's shoulder. “It's scientifically proven that I can't neglect you.” _

_ It wasn't long before Oliver fell asleep at the damm party, Percy being reminded of how cute he looked that night he realized his feelings. He smiled softly as the sleeping boy. If only he could somehow permanently engrave this image into his head. _

_ When Cho passed by him, Percy got her attention. “Hey, dude, can you pass me a thing of water?” _

_ Cho looked confused for approximately two seconds before breaking into a grin. “And you can't do it yourself?” _

_ “Don't you know how the universe universes?” Percy scoffs. “When something cute falls asleep on you, you can't move. I happen to have something cute asleep on me, therefore, I cannot move. C'mon, Cho. Get with it!” _

_ Cho grinned, walking to a nearby table to grab a cup for Percy to magic water in. “Have fun!” _

_ Percy blushed. Is his crush really that obvious?  _

“Five…”

_ “I hate you so much,” Percy laughed and shook his head as he got off the plane. He didn't wanna use floo powder, and his family didn't have a broom, so Oliver paid for his travel to his house. “I'm never going on another one of these planes again.” _

_ Oliver dropped the sign he was holding and ran to Percy, where they met halfway in a hug. It lasted way too long to be just friends, but neither of them commented on it, simply too happy to see each other again after being separated for one whole month during summer. _

_ When they finally let the other go, they smiled at each other. Percy used every ounce of self control to prevent himself from grabbing the collar of Oliver's hoodie and pressing his lips to his. He finally noticed the sign Oliver was holding quite a ways away from them. “What's that?” _

_ “I know you've never been in an airport before,” Oliver hid the sign behind his back. “So in case you couldn't find me, I made this so you can crawl your way back to me. Y'know, for extra security reasons. Yeah.” _

_ That's when he flipped the sign over, Percy seeing the bright yellow paper and red glitter that read the word ‘Nerd' in big block letters. _

_ “What the fuck, man?” Oliver cried when Percy snatched the sign and ripped it in half. “Do you have any sort of idea on how long that took me to make?” _

“Four…”

_ The room is completely silent when Oliver goes off, shoving the hardcover textbook he had in his lap to the floor with a loud noise. He stood up, anger written all over his face. “I'm done. I'm done! I'm so fucking done with this school and never understanding the stupid lesson.” _

_ Percy had been expecting this outburst from the moment Oliver was handed back his potions test with a horrible mark on it. He calmly walked from his comfortable place on the bed to go assist his friend. “What's the matter?” _

_ “I don't get it,” Oliver sat back down with a huff. “I hate that I never understand. I'm a good quidditch player but what good is that gonna do when I can't even take an exam with a passing mark? Why does this seem so impossible?” _

_ It's hard for Percy to fully relate to where Oliver is coming from because he's never had a big problem with not understanding a lesson, but for Oliver, he tried. He would do almost anything for him. “You need support?” _

_ Oliver already started crawling away from him, a panicked look replacing his frustrated scowl. But Percy is quicker. He grabbed the boys ankles to pull him closer and set his hands to work, tickling everywhere he could. _

_ It definitely got Oliver out of his anger, if only for a little. Percy ended up on top of Oliver in a matter of seconds, pinning him to the bed by his wrist. He's never wanted to kiss him more than in this moment. Neither of them moved a muscle, not even a twitch. They just both stared at each other. _

_ The moment was quickly ruined by their other roommate entering the room, but they were both left wondering what the hell that was. _

“Three…”

The last three seconds for Oliver.

_ It's usually Oliver having these bad days, but for once, it's Percy. He came back to the room after dinner with tears streaming down his face, a word not said to anybody he came face to face with, flopping down on his bed, face burying into the pillow. _

_ Charlie's sick. No one knows how severe. _

_ Oliver was the first to notice Percy's different behavior, and immediately came to investigate when his friend left dinner early. That's not something that normally happens. He walked into the room, and the first thing he realized was the crying. The way Percy's shoulders shook like a leaf said everything. _

_ “Percy?” Oliver laid down next to his friend on the bed, rubbing his shoulder. “What happened?” _

_ Percy is forever grateful that he wasn't asked if he was okay, because he might've bitch slapped the other boy. “Charlie is in Romania and he may be dying right now. No one really has a clue.” _

_ Oliver put his arms around Percy to comfort him. “Don't assume the worst. You always do that. It could be something as tiny as the flu. No matter what happens, I'm right next to you for as long as you want me to be.” _

_ “Thank you.” _

“Two…”

_ Later that night, they ended up wrapped around each other. Percy with his head buried underneath Oliver's chin, Oliver's hands tangled over Percy's limbs. Just friends fall asleep cuddling all the time, right? _

_ Percy woke up with a small smile, noticing that it was still dark outside. He gently poked Oliver on the side. “Hey, you awake?” _

_ Oliver's eyes snapped open wide away. “Bitch, what the fuck do you want? I was having a good dream, you know, thinking about you and me, and-” he slapped his hands over his mouth, realizing he said that out loud. _

_ Percy also covered his mouth in a gasp. “Thinking about what did you say?” _

_ But before Percy could push the question way more, Oliver silenced him by kissing him. And they kissed for a while. Oliver slid on top of Percy, kissing until they were both breathless and finally relieved that they could do this. How long had they both been wanting this? _

_ When they were too tired to keep going, and trust, they kissed until they were absolutely exhausted, they finally fell asleep, promises of talking about them the next day. _

_ Come morning and Percy Weasley is nowhere to be seen. _

At the last second, right before Percy casted Avada Kedavra, his hand stopped. If he could, he would've sobbed with relief. Oliver looked at him, question written all over his face, but Percy understood what was happening because of her.

“I think I wanna change this up,” Victoria smirked as she walked out of her hiding spot behind a bunch of bushes. “How about I make him stab himself in the heart as you watch?”

Percy's wand arm twisted so it was no longer pointed in Oliver's direction and was now hovering over his own body, mind being filled with nothing but desire to end everything.

A fury so violent that she felt it, and even Percy felt it, and they both knew it had come from Oliver. He made a lunge towards her, but failed to notice that the real danger had been with Percy and his wand.

She easily overpowered Oliver, holding him in a headlock as she forced him to watch Percy with wide eyes, and only then had he realized that he aimed for the wrong target. He made one mistake and that was going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

“Avada Kedavra…” Percy spoke, his left hand making a small wave as he said goodbye to so many things. There's a little period of seconds where all he could think about was how sad his parents were going to be, how Charlie and Bill and Ron and the twins were never going to interrogate his future boyfriend. How he's never going to get to see Ginny with her own significant other.

But the scream of horror that came from Oliver made Percy wish he had more time to say goodbye. He wished he could've done something more than a weak wave. Oh well, at least it's not Oliver dying anymore. If he got to save at least one person from all this, then that's good. As good as it's getting.

“One…”

**Author's Note:**

> This is shit it's 2 am help me
> 
> Listen to Jon Bellion plz. His song Woke The F*ck Up is so slept on. And it's my favorite Jon song. He's just great listen to him 
> 
> School tomorrow?? O weeeell
> 
> Follow my Tumblr - hispanic-annabeth
> 
> :)


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